BLUE DEMON (2004)
Scientists genetically engineer a new breed of great white sharks trained by the military to defend the U.S. shoreline against terrorist attacks. Naturally the half dozen CGI sharks get out of their secure compound and start dining on the locals.
This low budget feature has some ill advised attempts at humour that don't fit the tone of the film at all. The cigar chomping General is so over the top, the performance is ridiculous.
And for some reason the soundtrack features instrumental funk music while characters perform such mundane activities as walking down hallways.
The shark fins seen above the water line are embarrassingly fake looking too.
Based on the cover, I thought this one was going to be decent.
I was wrong.
SRF = 4
DARK WATERS (2004)
Ocean explorer Lorenzo Lamas and his female companion are hired by a wealthy industrialist to examine a deep sea facility he ownes that has been partially destroyed. Turns out the rich guy and Lorenzo's father worked together twenty five years earlier on a top secret government project involving genetic experiments using sharks as military weapons.
The CGI sharks are pretty fake and the girl can't seem to decide if she had an American or English accent.
Another shark movie filmed in Bulgaria.
SRF = 5
RAGING SHARKS (2004)
An alien manned spaceship explodes sending a part of it hurtling towards the Earth's ocean floor. Five years later a deep underwater lab notices increased agitation in local sharks. Apparently the sharks are affected by the intergalactic debris that sunk. Still with me?
Recycles footage from the previous Shark Attack movies, this was made by the same director and producers as Shark Zone.
Some actors speak in fake French, Italian and Irish accents to try and hide the fact that this is another crummy Bulgarian production.
SRF = 11
SHARK ATTACK IN THE MEDITERRANEAN (2004)
A widower helicopter pilot finds out that the extinct Megalodon shark terrorizing the local beach is the same one that killed his wife years ago. He gets help from a female shark researcher who is looking for a cure for cancer by studying the animals.
A German production, also known as Shark Alarm, horribly dubbed into English.
Includes a shark vs helicopter scene as seen years ago in Jaws 2.
SRF = 3
The always fun Jeffrey Combs plays a disgraced scientist working with shark DNA to find a cure for cancer and Alzheimer's Desease. Of course the only way to do that is to create an extra violent half-man half-shark monster. The beast is similar to that in 1998's The Creature just not quite as cool looking.
The mostly Bulgarian cast includes Velizar Binev who also appeared in Raging Shark, Shark Zone and Shark Hunter.
SPRING BREAK SHARK ATTACK (2005)
This made for TV movie plays like an episode of The O.C. with sharks. Lots of teen romance subplots etc...
A group of tiger sharks invade a Florida beach filled with college students partying it up. As is to be expected, mayhem ensues.
Some ideas in this were done much better in 2010's Piranha remake.
SRF = 11
SHARK SWARM (2007)
John Schneider tries to find out why his coastal fishing community has been having the worst season in years. Apparently a corrupt businessman has been polluting the waters to ruin the town and buy up the land. Unfortunately the chemicals used to soil the water is having a negative effect on local sharks (great whites and hammerheads) increasing their aggression levels.
This made for TV film runs an exhausting two hours and forty minutes and the CGI sharks are pretty bad.
High death count though.
SRF = 28
SHARKS IN VENICE (2007)
Here's how this one adds up:
divers can communicate underwater using normal breathing regulators
+same background footage of a guy standing in a gondola used five times in one scene
+a lengthy flashback to scenes of a battle during the crusades
+recycles footage from previous shark movies
= another crappy Bulgarian shark movie.
SRF = 11
MALIBU SHARK ATTACK (2009)
An underwater tremor unleashes a pack of goblin sharks who of course start attacking the locals. This is the only movie I know that features the truly hideous goblin shark but the CGI rendering makes them look like cartoons in a live action flick. Never mind that goblin sharks are deep water fish who would never be seen anywhere near the surface water of sunny Malibu.
And it doesn't help matters that there isn't a single character in this who you don't pray will wind up as shark food.
SRF = 7
PSYCHO SHARK (2009)
This weird Japanese horror flick is at best, incomprehensible. A couple of girls play at the beach then get lost in a hotel where some creepy guy keeps following them around. Apparently he is the "shark".
This mess is also known as Jaws In Japan if you can believe that.